sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
