I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
