we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
