i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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