hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
