Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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