I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
