Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
