I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
