I'm jealous of your bromance
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize