he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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