Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
