Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
