Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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