I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
