did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
