Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
