Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
