I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize