The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
