Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
