It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
