so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
