Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
