Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
