Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
