You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
