Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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