just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
