I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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