I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
