in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
