So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
