who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
