oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
