11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
