You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
