I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
