he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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