I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
