idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I accidentally burped into my bong.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
