She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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