Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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