He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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