I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
