just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I party with great urgency now.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize