Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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