there's paper in my vomit.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
