oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just want nice things and good sex
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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