Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
