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Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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