you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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