omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
