GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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