he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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