She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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