Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
